


A Moment of Home

by Zoadgo



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Mention of Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoadgo/pseuds/Zoadgo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I wonder what day it would be,” Cassandra ponders idly, her voice slow from residual sleep.</p>
<p>“Late December,” 10k mumbles back immediately, “24th if I’m right.” </p>
<p>“Christmas Eve.” Cassandra’s tone is almost longing, and she sighs, “Before all this, I would have been opening presents with my sisters. We always did everything on Christmas Eve, and then Christmas was for awkward dinners with the parents. The 24th was the best day for us.”</p>
<p>“We never really did Christmas. Dad said it didn’t make sense, but Mom would sneak me extra treats. I think it meant a lot to her, that the day was something special,” 10k shrugs, “I never knew why it should be different, but I’d also never argue with the cookies.”</p>
<p>“You never had a real Christmas?” Cassandra twists her head to look up at 10k with an oddly concerned expression.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>10k and Cassandra spend Christmas in the wasteland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Moment of Home

The fire in front of 10k pops as it gnaws through a knot in a log, not disturbing him in his sleepless state, but causing Cassandra to stir slightly against him. It had become common for them, over the last few months, to fall asleep leaning against each other, taking turns being awake to guard the other from their nightmares. It had taken both of them time to learn how to best soothe the other, but now it’s second nature for 10k as he begins humming a jaunty tune quietly.

He had tried, once, to calm her by stroking her hair - the same action that fights his nocturnal demons away - and he’d ended up with a knife pressed to his throat. It had been a clear indicator that more than the contact between their shoulders was too much for Cassandra while she sleeps, and 10k had begun trying other ways of helping her without waking her up. 

Cassandra stills in her sleep after the first few notes of the song, slight concerned creases in her forehead easing as she slips back into sleep. 10k smiles at her slumbering form for a moment, his chest warm with fondness and entirely pleased with himself for actually being able to help her, before turning his attention back to the fire. They don’t technically need the heat it provides them, the southern air humid and holding temperatures high even at night in the winter, but they still burn one almost every night for the comfort of it.

Comfort was much more important to them these days, since Delta Xray Delta had completed their mission. Most of the group had sought out camps to take residence in, and Cassandra and 10k still visit them when they’re nearby, but that life wasn’t meant for either of them. 10k was still hovering just under 7,000, and Cassandra’s night terrors grow even stronger in places that are supposedly “safe”. Given the amount of camps that had turned out to be cults, and her past with fanatics of the sort, 10k doesn’t blame her. He’s more than happy that she chose to travel with him, fighting alongside him and keeping the ghosts of his past away.

The fire cracks again, and 10k doesn’t quite restrain his slight jump at the sudden noise. The tiniest shifts of his shoulder and Cassandra is awake, knife in hand and looking for trouble. 10k stays perfectly still, allowing her mind to actually wake up so that she doesn’t just stab him on instinct. It takes a few moments, and Cassandra blinks slowly, visibly drooping as her mind stops reacting and starts realizing how tired she is. She yawns slowly, putting her knife away, and then leans back against 10k, lifting his arm to drape it over her shoulder so she can lean fully against his chest.

10k relaxes at that, knowing the chance of him getting wounded is significantly reduced now, and allows Cassandra to cuddle into him slightly, thoroughly enjoying her heat and weight against him. She won’t sleep like this, has never been able to convince her unconscious mind that a man’s arm around her isn’t a threat, but it’s a far more comfortable position for them to relax in.

“I wonder what day it would be,” Cassandra ponders idly, her voice slow from residual sleep.

“Late December,” 10k mumbles back immediately, “24th if I’m right.” 

10k’s fairly certain he’s right, counting days was one of the few things that got him through the loss of his father. Numbers were easy for him, they always made sense and were far more cooperative than the tasks his father set him. He would count things to pass the time; bird calls when he was fishing, seconds when the nights were too long, steps when he was checking the trap lines. His whole life, numbers and counting had been his comfort, and that had carried into the apocalypse.

“Christmas Eve.” Cassandra’s tone is almost longing, and she sighs, “Before all this, I would have been opening presents with my sisters. We always did everything on Christmas Eve, and then Christmas was for awkward dinners with the parents. The 24th was the best day for us.”

“We never really did Christmas. Dad said it didn’t make sense, but Mom would sneak me extra treats. I think it meant a lot to her, that the day was something special,” 10k shrugs, “I never knew why it should be different, but I’d also never argue with the cookies.”

“You never had a real Christmas?” Cassandra twists her head to look up at 10k with an oddly concerned expression.

“Tell me what a ‘real’ Christmas is.” 10k knows he’s never had it, but he wants to hear Cassandra talk. When she opens up about her past, about the happy parts pre-Z when the world wasn’t cruel to her, it’s one of the few times she’s happy without rage twisting with her joy. Emotions aren’t so pure, now, and an echo of the past is sometimes the closest they can get to simply enjoying themselves.

Cassandra turns her gaze back to the fire, settling more firmly against 10k before beginning.

“We’ve got the fire right, at least. Usually we’d put on the fire log channel on TV, because none of us had wood fireplaces, but there was always the sound of crackling logs. And a tree, you have to have a Christmas tree.” Cassandra traces a jagged sided triangle in the air in front of them, “Decorate it with all the shiny stuff you own and puts mountains of presents under it. Tacky stuff, the sort of gifts people wouldn’t buy for themselves, but they’ll still enjoy. And then you have eggnog and rum, and a turkey dinner, and you all unwrap all your gifts and pretend to love them. The gifts don’t really matter, in the end, it’s being home with your loved ones.”

“That sounds nice,” 10k says, his voice quiet so as not to disturb Cassandra in her memories.

“Yeah, it was. Christmas was the one thing we got right, you know? Not everyone, but some people figured it out, and it was the best when you did,” Cassandra hums thoughtfully, “I miss it.”

10k simply hums his agreement, not really saying that he misses it, more that he accepts she does. Cassandra reaches her hand up to tangle her fingers with his on the hand he has draped over her shoulder, and 10k smiles, resting his chin on the top of her head.

“Okay, so we got two parts of it right. The fire and people you care about.”

10k feels his chest tighten with joy, as it always does when Cassandra shows her affection for him in new ways. He wraps his arms around her in a hug, both of them primarily sharp edges and bones, but it feels right anyway. His head slips from its perch on top of her, and he rests his chin on her shoulder instead for a moment, as Cassandra hugs him back as well as one can when being embraced from behind.

“Most real Christmas ever, then, at least for me,” 10k mutters, and Cassandra chuckles tiredly.

“I’m glad, ‘cause you’re not getting any present from me this year.” She finishes the sentences with a yawn, and 10k releases her from his arms.

“You want to give sleeping another shot?” At Cassandra’s nod, 10k stands, “I’m going to do a quick perimeter check.”

Cassandra accepts that with another yawn, already laying down against her pack as 10k sets off at a jog. He will check the perimeter, but he has another purpose in his mind entirely as he heads away from their sheltered fire and into the dark, only a dim flashlight to scan for the items he wants. 

_A tree._

10k wants to give some hint of the joy he felt when Cassandra held his hand and said she cared for him back to her, and perhaps a facsimile of Christmas might do the trick. He rummages through the nearby area, scanning piles of rubbish for anything that might do as a gift, or something shiny with which to decorate the tree. He also looks for a tree, maybe a small sapling or scrawny bush clinging to life among the rubble and destruction.

He has to be quick, knows that Cassandra won’t sleep very long without him there to guard her, more a fitful rest than actual sleep. It’s the same for him when she’s on ration runs, without the solidity of her next to him, he can’t truly fall asleep. Years of survival, too many close calls for the both of them. So 10k jogs lightly in his hunts, grabbing wires and scraps of shining metal that he thinks might do and shoving them into his half empty kit bag.

Just when he’s about to have to turn back, having wasted as much time as he can circling the perimeter they marked out for their current short term camp, 10k spots something green, half crushed under by a fallen street sign. He climbs over the debris between him and it quickly, hoping that luck is with him just this once as he carefully lifts the slab of metal to see what’s trapped beneath it.

It’s a little broken, missing some of the deep green needles along its branches, but the small sapling looks perfect for what 10k wants. A few seconds work with his Kbar, and 10k is jogging back to Cassandra with a tree and enough decorations to at least attempt a proper Christmas for her. He hums a song as he walks towards the fire and Cassandra’s lightly slumbering form, announcing his presence and allowing Cassandra’s unconscious mind to recognize him as friendly and allow her to slip into a deeper sleep.

It’s evident that it works, as 10k hears her sigh slightly and watches her face relax. He smiles down at her for just a moment, wanting to tug the blanket further up around her shoulders but not wanting to wake her in a panic, then turns to set his mind to the task at hand. His pack slides to the ground quietly, softly jingling from the scraps of metal in it, and 10k searches for a place to set up the sapling.

It turns out to be harder than 10k had thought it would be to set up a tree. It doesn’t exactly have a stable base, and there’s not enough of its slender trunk left for him to dig into the dirt and steady it like that. The needles and splintered branches scrape at 10k’s arms, but he silently keeps at his work, eventually wedging the plant between a few pieces of rubble.

With that done, and Cassandra still sleeping despite the mild ruckus 10k is causing even with his best attempts to not be overly loud, 10k gathers his “decorations”. He has a vague idea of what a Christmas tree should look like, so he wraps steel and copper wires around it like garlands of lights and tinsel, shining in the flickering of the fire. Small scraps of metal, the likes of which 10k might use at another time to bait fish with, get gingerly placed of the strongest of the partially broken branches.

It only takes a few moments to decorate the tree, given that it’s only about two feet tall, and 10k sits back to admire his work. The tree itself is more than a little ratty, but patches barren of green needles are covered with shimmering metal, the firelight turning the metal from trash into precious treasures. It’s a little silly, small and broken and covered in what once was refuse, but 10k thinks it’s great. It’s a post-Z tree for a post-Z Christmas, where everything’s a little broken, but it can still be beautiful.

10k sits near Cassandra to pass the rest of the time until dawn, singing his little song when she begins to worry in her sleep as the 24th fades into the 25th. Christmas day had never meant much to him in the past, but the past isn’t as important in a world hell bent on simply surviving. They fight to eke out another second of present, and a hope for a future. Perhaps that’s what Christmas can be to him now, a potential future, something to work towards beyond upping his numbers.

As the sun hints at the horizon, dimming their fire by lighting the world around them in blue and gold, Cassandra begins to stir. It’s only a few hours of sleep, but it’s more than enough for them to split the nights between them, if it means getting deep sleep.

“Morning,” 10k greets Cassandra as she stretches with a yawn. She grunts a response, rubbing at her eyes with the heel of her palm before actually opening them.

It takes a moment of her looking around idly, obviously not expecting anything to have changed, but displaying the wariness which had managed to get her this far through a living hell. Then her eyes catch on the tree, and Cassandra stands in a moment, walking towards it slowly with one hand clasped over her mouth as she reaches out to touch the tips of its fragile branches, laden with decorations.

“Did I do okay?” 10k hadn’t thought he’d be nervous, but the fact that Cassandra didn’t say anything right away makes it difficult for him to gauge her reaction.

Cassandra almost jumps, spinning towards him quickly as if having forgotten that he was there. 10k can see tears shining bright in her eyes and he’s just about to apologize when she drops her hand, revealing a brilliant smile. She shakes her head a little, walking over to 10k and leaning down over where he’s sitting, gripping his chin lightly to tilt his head towards her.

“You did more than okay. It’s perfect, Tommy.”

She leans down and presses her lips to his, both pairs chapped from surviving for years in a wasteland, but feeling so completely right against each other. 10k reaches his hand up to brush her hair back from her face, twining his fingers in its thick mass and leaning into the slow movement of their lips. It’s tender, sweet, the sort of embrace the apocalypse usually doesn’t allow. But just this once, it does.

When Cassandra pulls back from him with a grin, 10k can’t help but to return it. She pulls him to his feet, and 10k follows her to their little tree, their hint of safety and comfort on Christmas. It’s such a small thing, a matter of an hour’s work, but Cassandra wraps her arm around 10k’s waist in half a hug, and it’s so much more than a sapling and metal. Maybe it’s Cassandra, or maybe it’s the spirit of Christmas, but in that moment there is no apocalypse.

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Cassandra whispers, and 10k can’t help but agree.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is the final day of Ficmas! I hope y’all have enjoyed it, I know I’ve certainly been loving writing for you all <3
> 
> As a Christmas gift to y’all, have some fluffy wasteland Christmas with our favourite tragic love story that never was.
> 
> Go send some love to my editor [Etra](http://coldsaturn.tumblr.com), she’s been amazing about editing everything and keeping me going with encouragement!
> 
> Come spend Christmas with me [on tumblr!](http://jonnmurphy.tumblr.com) And thank in advance for reading/commenting/leaving kudos <3


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